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Possibly Travelling Alone and Terrified
Hi there,
I’m looking for advice on travelling alone as an electric wheelchair user. There’s a possibility that I might need to travel alone for a medical appointment as the person who I was hoping to accompany me to the appointment is being a bit flaky about it, I have to travel to Sudbury, Ontario next week (Oct.24th – Oct 26th); If I have to travel alone, it would be my first time and I’m terrified because of past abuse and fear monger by my family my whole life. I have nobody else to come with me as I do not speak to my family and I don’t have very many friends…I already have the hotel booked and I will be buying the bus tickets soon. So I’m just looking for any advice or tips on how to travel alone as an electric wheelchair user, because I’m absolutely terrified.
Also if it helps, I’m a 27 year old trans masc nonbinary individual with spastic diplegia cerebral palsy and I’m also autistic and I have crippling anxiety as well as agoraphobia from all the abuse and fear mongering that I’ve experienced…I’m a full time power wheelchair user (Permobil Corpus M3), which has power positioning features: Elevate, active reach, tilt, recline, leg elevation; additionally it also has headlights and a USB port.
I can weight bare/pivot transfer independently, I can dress and undress somewhat independently (it can take a while and I get very out of breath), I also can use the bathroom independently..most of my issues are with carrying things, getting from point A to point B, understanding social cues, anxiety, fear of being hurt or getting lost, not being helped, sensory overload, noise sensitivity, meltdowns, (sometimes) uncontrollable stimming and echolalia, etc…
Any advice, tips, and or comforting words would be greatly appreciated! (Also if this is not the right group for this please let me know)
Thank You In Advance!
Josh Grisdale7 Comments-
Hi!
First of all, remember – we are all here to support each other.
I live in Japan now, but I was born and raised in Canada. I also use a power wheelchair and I travelled home by bus once by myself. I can understand it can be unnerving!
I find, personally, knowing what places look like before I go can be comforting. For example, using Google Maps to virtually explore around the bus station, or looking on YouTube for a video review of the hotel you are staying at. It helps to think “oh, I know this place”.
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@Josh Grisdale hi Josh! It means a lot to me that you commented on my post, I’ve followed your living in Japan journey for years…you were the first person I’ve seen that was like me going to a place that I’ve always wanted to go and it gave me hope that it is possible 😊…despite clear proof that such things were possible even as a power wheelchair user, my family ignored it and continued to shelter me…now years later as an adult with zero contact with anyone in my family, having to learn how to navigate on my own in the world and travel as a wheelchair user is no easy task! I actually used to live in Sudbury from 13-19yrs old with my parents and siblings but even then I didn’t do very much on my own…so travelling from city to city on my own is…daunting to say the least 😅 fortunately, I have friend from high school who I spoke to about this trip is going to be meeting me at the bus station in Sudbury and keeping me company during my trip, so it’s just the bus down and back that I’ll be alone for really but still a little scary. I apologize for the long comment but I wanted you to know that I’m very thankful that I discovered your journey all those years ago and that you have developed this wonderful app, because now I know that existing and travelling in a wheelchair is possible and not all that rare or difficult, and not at all what they made it seem to be…so thank you so much ☺️
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@Frost_Wheels1998 I am indebted to community and people around me for everything. Glad to have you part of it. You will do awesome!
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Adding to what Josh has said, let someone back home know where you’re at. I post on my social media accounts where I’m staying at, the restaurants I eat at, and all the sites I visit. Even though I’m alone during most of my trips, I don’t feel alone.
Stick to major streets. Don’t go down alleys or shortcuts that seem deserted. Perhaps avoid going out too late after dark.
I would also talk to the friend who is being flaky. Explain your concerns and why it’s important that they go with you. Don’t hesitate to bring up the safety issues, your mental health needs, and all the reasons their presence will be important. For those of us who rely on PCAs, a PCA is just as important as our mobility and other assistive devices.
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@Carlos hi Carlos, it’s nice to meet you! I appreciate your comment, I spoke to a friend that I went to high school with a few days back and they said that they agreed with me that the person who I originally asked to come with me was being a flake and that I should trust my gut…instead my friend from high school said that they would meet me at the bus station in Sudbury and that they would keep me company during the trip! I haven’t seen them in 9 years so I’m pretty excited to see them again…I appreciate your suggestions and I haven’t shut up about seeing my friend again lol 😂 I also have established contact between my friend and my partner(who is long distance relationship from the US), cried happy tears to know that my friend was looking out for me and that I wouldn’t be stuck with the original flaky person…we also have the app Life360 and have a shared circle with myself, my partner, and my friend…I am very active on social media mainly Instagram and will definitely be posting updates during my trip…and pretty much all the staff members at my independent living apartment complex know about this trip as well 😊
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I really hope the trip goes smoothly and that you come away from it feeling proud of yourself for doing something so hard.
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@Anthony_TWIA thank you! I hope so too! I’m hoping that because of this trip , (even though it is for medical purposes), that I will be able to show myself that my family was wrong and that even though I know I will not get any sort of closure or apology from them for how they treated me that they will feel in their souls that I am capable and that they can’t control me anymore and that I will prove them wrong 😊
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